The Energy Reset: 3 Powerful Ways to Stop Feeling Frazzled and Start Feeling Radiant
Energy is the "juice" or impetus behind our thoughts, feelings, and actions. Energy is what enables us to engage with the world and accomplish life. Does your energy feel focused or frazzled?
As a human you are quite literally a ball of energy. Yes, you. And the quality of that energy can leave you feeling sparkling, effervescent, almost floating — as if you’ve swallowed a cupful of stars —or frazzled, crackling and spitting sparks as your energy wrestles you to the ground of overwhelm and exhaustion.
You might be saying, “I don’t even have the energy to read your blog post Kathy! But wait, your energy is not just physical strength but also includes mental focus, emotional resilience, and spiritual well-being.
And don’t you want to feel and look like you swallowed a cupful of stars?
If I’m being honest, I lived most of my life frazzled. My energy spitting sparks all over the place. It took the end of my marriage for me to realize the shrapnel of my life from constant frazzled energy. I know what it feels like when your careful constructed life falls apart. Thankfully from the whole hot mess there have been many gifts. One is the realization that for my energy to be radiant and sparkling, it must be created from the inside out, not trying to wrestle the energy of others. As you may know, that is exhausting.
Dang. Focused energy brings ease I never knew possible. I’d love to share three of my favorite tools that continue to help me take control of my own frazzle.
Tool 1: Take the Saboteur Assessment 🤯
This tool comes from Shirzad Chamine’s Positive Intelligence. He describes saboteur energy as “The voices in your head that generate negative emotions as you handle life's challenges. They represent the automatic patterns in your mind for how to think, feel, and respond.”
Becoming aware of what holds you back is the first step in gathering your energy.
Exercise: Begin the Story of Your Life…
Take a look at the following openings, some from famous books others I made up. If you were writing the story of your life which opening lines feel like yours?
"My life was a masterpiece of almosts, each one a small sanctuary from the possibility of disappointment."
“I spent much of my childhood listening to the sound of striving.” Michelle Obama
"My reflection smiled back at me from the bathroom mirror, but it wasn't my smile—it was the one I’d learned to wear, the one that never said no, never disappointed, never revealed the exhaustion of always being what others needed me to be."
"This is the saddest story I have ever heard." Ford Madox Ford
"The world was full of dangers that others couldn't see, or perhaps chose not to see. My mind already three steps ahead of every possible threat."
“Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered she had turned into the wrong person.” Anne Tyler
"Today was not about finding the perfect moment—it was about making this moment perfect by choosing to act."
Did some of the opening lines resonate as dead ends? How did reading them make you feel? That, my friend is a sign of saboteur frazzled energy. The energy that holds us back from our own mattering, from following our souls purpose.
Which ones resonated with possibility? These are the ones inviting us to move beyond saboteur energy and focus on the deeper work of shifting old patterns so we can live a life that is wildly our own.
Tool 2: Begin Tapping using the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) ⚡️
Tapping was introduced to me as a way to calm my energy. I first learned of it from an amazing therapist who walked alongside me as I navigated the hell of being the betrayed woman with a desire to keep her wits about her so she could stand up for her future self during divorce proceedings. I would tap, tap, tap before mediation meetings; tap, tap, tap after mediation meetings; tap, tap, tap after a difficult interaction with my husband about the flotsam and jetsam of our life together; tap, tap, tap after every call with my lawyer. You get the picture, tap, tap, tap.
The tapping is done on specific acupressure points in order to reduce stress, anxiety, fear, phobias, etc. I tapped so often I imagined little dents at the 9 acupressure points. I was amazed at how much it helped me gather my energy. Tapping taught me how to regulate my emotional frazzle. It is a major tool in my personal and professional toolbox.
A few years ago I met another amazing human who used tapping in a different way. Christa Deering is my business coach, energy healer and shaman. She showed me I could tap, tap tap to intentionally call the energy I’m desiring. I now view EFT not only as a way to harness the frazzle, but to also sip some stars.
Exercise: Christina’s 5-minute Energy Reset
It’s like a shower for frazzled energy.
Now that we've explored recognizing saboteurs and calming frazzled energy, let's look at how to actively cultivate the energy we want to embody.
Three: Find Inspiration to Focus Your Energy. 📚
It’s summer where I live, and for me, summer is an invitation to read voraciously. Our first exercise used the opening lines of books as a way to see limiting patterns in yourself. Now I’d like to use books as an invitation to find inspiration for focusing your energy and creating transformative plot twists moving forward.
Below are some book recommendations with links to local book stores (that I love) where you can find the book. I’ve read all but two, and yes, they are on my summer reading list.🏖 📚
The list is organized by Saboteur (worth taking the Saboteur Assessment) and the plot twist we are trying to invite once we get our energy focused. If you don’t find a book that resonates, visit your local book store. Do not underestimate the hair raising skills of local bookstore employees to help you find the exact book you are looking for.
Avoider → Courageous Action Books:
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Controller → Trusting Flow Books:
The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
Pleaser → Authentic Connection Books:
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
To All the Boys I've Loved Before by Jenny Han
Hyper-Achiever → Purposeful Being Books:
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
Kitchen Table Wisdom by Rachel Naomi Remen
Hyper-Vigilant → Present Moment Trust Books:
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
"Wild" by Cheryl Strayed
Hyper-Rational → Heart-Centered Wisdom Books:
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön
Restless → Peaceful Presence Books:
Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse
Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
Stickler → Creative Flow Books:
The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
Victim → Empowered Choice Books:
Educated by Tara Westover
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Wrap it up.🎁
You took your Saboteur Assessment, learned a little about EFT tapping to control your energy, did Christina’s Energy Reset to call new energy in, and you have a summer reading list to help you shift your energy through the inspiration of someone else’s story.
💥You are a ball of energy. Like a dandelion seed, every person you encounter is influenced by the energy you carry. Be responsible for your vibe. Gather and focus energy to serve you, which will in turn allow you to be a radiant, sparkling force in all the circles you influence.
What is one thing you are going to do after reading this? I’d love to know.
