Let's Catch Up

Reflecting on what rattled my senses last week. It was all about choice, change and possibility.

🤔 Thinking about signs again…

A week where I feel wildly aware of those moments in time that everything changes.

Reflecting on the power of choice.

How sometimes change is initiated by our own choice and sometimes choices seem to be made for us. Either way, we can choose how we move forward.

😳 Change

Tuesday started with my iPhone feeling compelled to share memories from May 2018. The photos were taken during the weekend of my last visit to a cabin that was close to my heart. A cabin we designed on my hospital bed during my cancer treatments. A cabin that has glass blocks with photos of me and my family etched into the walls. A cabin that shared so much joy with family and friends.

It is built next to a peaceful lake. One of those places that make you gasp as you turned the corner and began the decent down the dirt road, a blue lake exploding in front of you shimmering with peace.

Every single time for over 25 years that corner was like a magical reset, a tripping back in time. Reminding me that life could be simple and peaceful if I let it. At least it always felt that way while I was there.

⚡️Choices

I chose to sell my half of the cabin as part of our divorce settlement. It was harder to let go of that cabin than it was to let go of my husband. So many memories seeped into the logs that held it together.

The photos brought back memories of that weekend in May that I chose to pay homage to the place. I hiked Baldy mountain one last time, paddle boarded slowly around the entire lake collecting flotsam and jetsam that remain with me today. I splashed my feet in the water praying to the lake goddess to keep my sons safe. As I walked away I noticed a water snake in the middle of consuming a frog. For the love of Pete, I thought, really? Laughing out loud remembering a recent conversation with a dear friend about all the crazy choices I needed to make in the ending of my marriage. She told me I needed to just “eat the frog”. I’m not kidding. That really happened!

"Eat the frog" is a metaphorical expression that means to tackle the most difficult, unpleasant, or important task first thing in the morning. The idea is that by getting the worst part of your day out of the way early, the rest of your day will feel much easier and more productive.

That weekend certainly felt like an eat the frog kind of event.

🥰 Possibility

I removed the things that I wanted from the cabin and had a little chat with it, walking into each room thanking and remembering all the good things. I locked the doors and put the last box into the car. I stood still for a moment then grabbed the box of heart shaped rocks and went back in, strategically placing the rocks around the house secretly hoping my sons would feel my presence.

On a last whim I took the garden shears from the back room and then left, locking the door behind me for the last time. I went and cut myself the most enormous bouquet of lilacs from the trees I had replanted so intentionally. My final cut revealed a butterfly. It was like she had been watching me the whole time. We had a staring contest for a bit. I felt like she was telling me that change was necessary and possibility was before me.

That was seven years ago. Since then, with the proceeds of the cabin I’ve had the gift of annual trips with my sons. We have had magical experiences together and I realize they would never have been possible if change did not happen.

Choice, change and possibility.