The Art of Hearing Heartbeats
Finding the rhythm of our heartbeat as we move through love, life and suffering.
I admit, I am drawn to books by their covers and titles. Yes, I know how shallow that sounds—judging a book by its cover. I do the same with wine bottles, which can be just as revealing. Going the extra mile to create something enticing on the outside—something that reflects the quality of what’s inside, offers a hint of the experience you’re committing to.
With ten minutes to spare, I decided to dart into Wellesley Books, one of my favorite local bookstores. It’s rare for me to arrive early for a dinner date, but that particular evening I did, and the venue just happened to be next door to the bookstore. I find it hard to resist a stroll through a bookstore, if only to inhale the delightful smell of paper and ink. Almost immediately, Jan-Philipp Sendker’s novel “The Art of Hearing Heartbeats” caught my eye, displayed prominently in the “Staff Picks” rack right by the entrance. It was the title that snagged me, the artwork was pleasing but simple.
As I reached for it, a woman beside me exclaimed, “Oh, how I loved that book!” The employee behind me quickly joined in, introducing herself as Ann. “That book was my ‘staff pick,’ and I didn’t move for two full days while I consumed every word of it! There’s a sequel called ‘A Well-Tempered Heart,’ but make sure to read this one first.” At that point, how could I resist purchasing this book when its mere presence sparked such enthusiasm in not one, but two passionate hearts?
Oh, how I struggled through those first seventy-five pages.
I had not only judged the book by its cover, but I also began to question the judgment of two people I barely knew. I couldn’t help but think, “What in the world were they talking about? This is painful.” I found the transitions challenging while following the main character, Julia, as she grappled with the loss of her father. (I won’t give anything away—you really need to read the book!) Finally, for the love of Pete, the story began to draw me in. To give you a little tease: the book is a magical tale of love's power, intertwined with a humble portrayal of the human ability to persevere, no matter the cards life deals us.
Once I pushed past the initial struggle, I discovered a beautiful narrative that sparked an epiphany I hold dear:
Our hearts reflect the stories we have written for ourselves—stories that may be lived or merely imagined.
Yes, our hearts are physical organs responsible for pumping life and sustaining every cell in our bodies, but they are so much more than that. Our hearts maintain the rhythm of our existence. When that rhythm falters, it’s first noticed in our heartbeat. Often underappreciated, our hearts serve as centers of energy capable of both opening and closing off love itself.
We must consider and care for our hearts from these various perspectives. The intricate connections between our minds and our emotions significantly affect our heart's rhythm. How we choose to live is expressed in every single heartbeat; our heart’s rhythm reflects the quality of our chosen existence.
In the story, a boy, due to his blindness, possesses an extraordinary sense of hearing—he can actually hear human heartbeats. As he grows older, he perfects this skill and discerns the character and disposition of a person from the quality of their heartbeat. The author beautifully illustrates this when the boy imagines what his uncle is like: “Did his eyes sparkle, or was his gaze as expressionless as the thumping in his chest?”
This passage resonated with me. Months prior, while preparing for a yoga workshop I was set to teach, I researched the effects of life transitions—such as menopause—on the heart. Dr. Christine Northrup noted that cardiovascular disease in one area of the body indicates far-reaching implications throughout. Although it often manifests in midlife, heart disease begins in childhood—shaped by genetics, diet, experiences, exercise habits, and emotional expression. Dr. Northrup elaborated that during menopause, women’s risk for heart disease, hypertension, and stroke rises significantly as our hearts and the network of blood vessels demanding nourishment make themselves unmistakably heard.
It’s during midlife that many women begin to truly listen to their hearts. Others even follow their hearts, embarking on new journeys—whether that means returning to school, switching careers, or starting a blog to capture the grace in their lives. Importantly, these transitions are not exclusive to women; there exists a well-known phenomenon termed “male menopause.” The pharmaceutical industry has profited significantly from both genders' midlife crises—think hormone replacement therapy and Viagra. Change can be particularly challenging for men; they often “stuff” their fears and emotions, which can lead to a “hardened heart” or a “heavy heart.” In contrast, women frequently “pour their hearts out.” (Okay, enough of the idioms—I can’t help myself.)
Make no mistake: at midlife, our hearts begin to speak louder than ever, and we all know the potential consequences of ignoring that voice. There is a wealth of information on this topic, and I highly recommend further reading. For women, Christine Northrup, M.D.'s book, The Wisdom of Menopause, should be your go-to resource during this time. For men, I suggest Gail Sheehy’s Understanding Men’s Passages to better understand what might be happening in your midlife transition and to potentially soften your heart in the process.
“And so there must be in life something like a catastrophic turning point, when the world as we know it ceases to exist—a moment that transforms us into a different person from one heartbeat to the next.”
A powerful sentiment is expressed by Michael Singer in his book, The Untethered Soul.
Just as we encounter tribulations, we also have opportunities for grace. This grace lies in our ability to control how we react to life events. It astounds me to consider that the way we navigate each moment actually defines the quality of our next heartbeat—and the one after that, and the one after that. Our choices can change the energy of our heartbeat. If we were as in tune with our bodies and minds as the boy in the book, we might instantly detect how our decisions affect the cadence of our internal rhythms. This awareness is what we all seek; it’s one reason mindfulness has become so popular in our fast-paced, ever-changing world.
It takes just a moment of awareness—seems deceptively simple, doesn’t it? Oh, but it is not. You and I both know, it is not.
Mr. Singer offers an illuminating analogy to clarify this concept. He explains that within each of us is an immense reservoir of energy that doesn’t come from food or sleep. It’s an endless supply we can tap into at any time, allowing us to feel as though we can accomplish anything. Can you recall a time when you experienced this kind of energy?
Unfortunately, Mr. Singer also explains, we don’t feel this energy all the time: we block it by closing our hearts—our master energy center. We allow real or perceived experiences to leave scars and form energetic walls.
Take a moment to think of someone you love. How do you feel when you’re around this person? Free to express yourself? Trusting them, right? Your heart is open; you can almost feel yourself smiling from the inside.
Now, think of a moment when that person let you down—perhaps they said something that hurt you. Do you feel a tightness in your chest? In that moment, you likely closed your heart to them, and if you continue to hold on to that hurt, you allow it to obstruct your heart. We all have the power to open and close our hearts at will—this is something we can control. It takes practice. Awareness. Safe places to experience something different.
We have the choice to either let life’s genuine experiences pass through us or to grip onto them tightly. Letting go means acknowledging what happens without attaching to it or allowing the story to spin out of control. In contrast, when we cling to experiences, we allow them to leave their mark—a hardness, a plaque stating, “I have been hurt.” This plaque is reflected in our heartbeat.
Can you see the connection?
You don’t need to suffer. A cold hard fact that I continue to be invited to learn. There is nothing that happens in life that warrants closing your heart. The only person you hurt by doing so is yourself. You scar your own heart, and the rhythm of your life will mirror that scar. Ouch.
Learning how to acknowledge changes and fears without allowing them to weigh down our hearts takes practice, especially if life led you to protect your heart over and over and over. Yes, it is vulnerable act to open our hearts. And, when we do we get to play with the possibilities life has to offer us as we lift our heart and live lightheartedly. (Seriously, I can’t resist the idioms!)
To think that each of us has the power to create the music of our very own heartbeat is both profound and liberating.
What is the rhythm of your heartbeat? Is there an action you can take to open your heart?