The Weather Within: Why Your Emotions Are Designed to Move

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life." —Prince

Photo by Randy Levitt

Life isn't a straight highway stretching endlessly toward the horizon. It has hills, curves, and deep valleys. Our travels aren't all experienced in sunshine either. Sometimes it rains that light, refreshing summer rain. Sometimes it pours sideways, pelting your face. And let's not forget the occasional tornado, hurricane, or tsunami that makes the path forward so unrecognizable it seems invisible.

But here's what I've learned: the journey also takes us to bliss-filled moments and experiences that light us up, as if we swallowed lightning. Both are true. Just like the weather.

The Weather Report for Your Inner World

In human form, weather is equivalent to our emotions. And like weather, emotions need motion. They are designed to be fleeting—a fact that continues to astound me, even as someone who studies and teaches this very principle.

I know all of this. I have studied it, I teach it, and yet I still allow emotions to stick to me like Velcro, holding on for dear life. Unable to express them fully and fearlessly, I've developed some grace and self-compassion for when I revert to old ways, believing on some level that I'm protecting myself.

But every time—and I mean every single time—I pay the price for not addressing the emotion that's been stirred. For not taking the time to discern: Is this an old, stuck emotion being kicked up by this interaction, or is this something new I need to address? Instead, from a lifetime of practice, I stuff it down and ignore it, hoping it will go away. Thinking I'm doing myself and the other person a solid.

Here's the truth: stuffed emotions don't go away. They explode sideways.

What Darwin Knew About Your Emotional Survival Kit

Charles Darwin, in his groundbreaking work "The Expression of Emotions in Man and Animals," proposed that emotions were a system existing in most animals to help us survive by understanding the world around us and reacting accordingly. Think of your emotions as a psychological immune system—they allow us to evolve, survive, adapt, be resourceful, and creatively solve challenges while providing the pro-social behavior that gives us the capacity to be in community.

This system operates through:

• A state of arousal involving facial and bodily changes, brain activation, cognitive appraisals, and subjective feelings

• Survival intelligence that helps us make judgments about our life circumstances

• Motivational guidance that processes information and determines whether to run toward or away

We need both positive and negative emotions. It's better to view all emotions as useful information instead of separating them into "good" and "bad." As Karla McLaren, author of "The Language of Emotions," declares: these evolutionary responses are uniquely appropriate to specific situations.

Positive emotions improve coping and produce well-being—not just in the present moment, but over the long term as we build more experiences of them. They help us regulate negative emotions, open the door of our awareness, and make us more prosocial.

Negative emotions give us a counterpoint to positive emotions (without the negative, would the positive feel as good?), encourage us to act in ways that boost our survival chances, and help us grow and develop as humans.

The 90-Second Revolution

Here's where it gets fascinating: According to neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor, PhD, the physiological arousal—this chemical process in the body—lasts for only 90 seconds! Any additional emotional response stems from a person choosing, consciously or not, to stay in that emotional cycle.

Think about that for a moment. The idea that our response to an emotional event is fleeting if we choose to let it be is profoundly empowering.

Where we get into trouble is when we allow negative emotions to linger past their point of usefulness, producing unnecessary irritability and increases in heart rate and blood pressure. We ruminate, staying stuck in negative loops.

It's when we embrace both our positive and negative emotions that we give ourselves the chance to live a balanced, meaningful life.

Your Emotional Weather Station: Three Practices to Get Started

1. Bring Awareness to Your Emotional Climate

Often, we feel emotions, but unless they're particularly strong, we may not remember them. In your next conversation with a friend, family member, or coworker, invite yourself to bring awareness to feeling and emotion:

• How many feelings do you experience during the conversation?

• How many emotion-based expressions does your conversation partner show?

• What do these numbers tell you about the frequency, intensity, or types of emotions that pop up in everyday life?

2. Map Your Emotional Body

Choose a feeling—anger, joy, fear, sadness, guilt, love. Write it at the top of a page and describe what sort of bodily responses accompany this emotional state. Heart racing? Sweating? Shivering? A change in facial expression?

Now draw on a simple body outline where you feel this emotion. Does the emotion have direction? If yes, draw arrows. When finished, take a few minutes to let this newfound awareness sink in.

3. Build Your Emotional Vocabulary

Consider exploring tools like "How We Feel" or the "Mood Meter" to help build your emotional intelligence and awareness. The richer your emotional vocabulary, the better equipped you become to navigate your inner weather patterns.

The Forecast for Your Journey

Remember: emotions are designed to move through us, not stick to us. They're information, not identity. They're weather patterns, not permanent climates.

The next time you feel that familiar emotional storm brewing, pause. Ask yourself: Is this a 90-second weather pattern passing through, or am I choosing to extend the forecast? Sometimes the most radical act of self-care is simply allowing the weather to be what it is—temporary, informative, and ultimately, in service of your survival and growth.

After all, even the fiercest storms eventually pass, making way for those lightning-swallowing moments of pure joy.

Permission to be human in your process. I’m giving myself the same.