Recently my asthma collided with the Rhino Virus, the result was an attack on my lungs that rendered me helpless. I couldn't just push through or "I'm Fine" my way out of this one, I needed help.
This is important! I also love the concept of ‘interdependence’ whereby we can lean in and support each other where needed. Choosing honesty, vulnerability and collaboration. 🥰
This is so beautiful!! Oh, I've had such a journey getting to know those protector parts... at first, I was so mad at them for existing because it felt like they did nothing but hurt me. Everything changed when I accepted them and even became grateful for them... honored them. Then they sort of chilled out and happily starting riding in the back seat. I can so relate with your "I'm fine" way of life. I did that for 34 years straight until I cracked and then I had to ask for help. It's the most freeing thing ever! Lovely perspective - thank you for sharing! 🌺
Love that idea of having gratitude for those protector parts. They worked so dam hard! Thanks for connecting. It’s great to get to know others that have walked through the forest with me!
It’s incredible how deeply ingrained our need to appear “fine” can be, even when we’re struggling. Thank you for sharing your experience as it highlights the transformation that happens when we allow ourselves to receive care, not just give it. That moment in the ICU, where you let yourself feel everything instead of pushing it down, is such a testament to the strength in vulnerability.
I could not agree with you more. I am speaking to a group of cancer providers tomorrow on the subject and you just helped me give the talk a launching point. I appreciate your connection.
Dear Kathy, I love your post! ❤️ I also suffer from asthma, chronic sinusitis, and bronchiectasis, and twice a year, I visit the emergency. I live by myself currently, and I never ask for help. Last time, I cried at the emergency with an oxygen mask, thinking, will I ever see my family again (they live in another country.) I don't share my emergency "ventures," as I don't want my family to worry. But I think I'm wrong. Many times, I've convinced myself I'm fine. I wasn't.
Toni you are worthy to have your needs met. And allowing others to care for and about us is a hard thing and dangerous, when we do life feels a little easier. I’m right beside you. You are not alone.
Kathy, i'm a "recovering self-reliant person". and that stems from early on in life even before my teens and now I'm in my early 60s and I have backup plans for everything but I do realize that there are times people need to ask for help. I was an ICU nurse for almost 2 decades and have seen people say that they're OK and I know they're not and it's not just the monitors or the numbers you can just look in sense that something's wrong so the thing is to dig deeper and ask more questions. I also saw it a lot when doing massage therapy and then people would release their emotions so even though we can be somewhat self-reliant and independent, we also need others and they need us and that's a lesson. We should all learn sooner than later 🤗💕🙏
Some things I will seek help with, such as medical needs. But when there are strong emotions and shame involved, no one has an easy time. In my case that was binge eating. It's super difficult to reach out when you feel like a failure.
I have never heard this acronym for fine either. Thanks for sharing, Kathy. It certainly does make complete sense because so many times when I say I’m fine, I also am anything but fine. I can relate to you, Kathy, as a people pleaser all my life it was like absolutely unnatural and extremely hard for me to ask for help, as well.
This is important! I also love the concept of ‘interdependence’ whereby we can lean in and support each other where needed. Choosing honesty, vulnerability and collaboration. 🥰
This is so beautiful!! Oh, I've had such a journey getting to know those protector parts... at first, I was so mad at them for existing because it felt like they did nothing but hurt me. Everything changed when I accepted them and even became grateful for them... honored them. Then they sort of chilled out and happily starting riding in the back seat. I can so relate with your "I'm fine" way of life. I did that for 34 years straight until I cracked and then I had to ask for help. It's the most freeing thing ever! Lovely perspective - thank you for sharing! 🌺
Love that idea of having gratitude for those protector parts. They worked so dam hard! Thanks for connecting. It’s great to get to know others that have walked through the forest with me!
Wow that is scary Sara. Glad you’re ok and thanks for sharing. I will never hear (or say) I’m fine in the quite the same way again
It’s incredible how deeply ingrained our need to appear “fine” can be, even when we’re struggling. Thank you for sharing your experience as it highlights the transformation that happens when we allow ourselves to receive care, not just give it. That moment in the ICU, where you let yourself feel everything instead of pushing it down, is such a testament to the strength in vulnerability.
I could not agree with you more. I am speaking to a group of cancer providers tomorrow on the subject and you just helped me give the talk a launching point. I appreciate your connection.
You are very welcome Kathy and good luck!
Dear Kathy, I love your post! ❤️ I also suffer from asthma, chronic sinusitis, and bronchiectasis, and twice a year, I visit the emergency. I live by myself currently, and I never ask for help. Last time, I cried at the emergency with an oxygen mask, thinking, will I ever see my family again (they live in another country.) I don't share my emergency "ventures," as I don't want my family to worry. But I think I'm wrong. Many times, I've convinced myself I'm fine. I wasn't.
Toni you are worthy to have your needs met. And allowing others to care for and about us is a hard thing and dangerous, when we do life feels a little easier. I’m right beside you. You are not alone.
Thank you so much, Kathy. ❤️
Kathy, i'm a "recovering self-reliant person". and that stems from early on in life even before my teens and now I'm in my early 60s and I have backup plans for everything but I do realize that there are times people need to ask for help. I was an ICU nurse for almost 2 decades and have seen people say that they're OK and I know they're not and it's not just the monitors or the numbers you can just look in sense that something's wrong so the thing is to dig deeper and ask more questions. I also saw it a lot when doing massage therapy and then people would release their emotions so even though we can be somewhat self-reliant and independent, we also need others and they need us and that's a lesson. We should all learn sooner than later 🤗💕🙏
Thank you Kathleen. Your response gives me goosebumps. Thank you for your work in this world - it is so very healing.
Some things I will seek help with, such as medical needs. But when there are strong emotions and shame involved, no one has an easy time. In my case that was binge eating. It's super difficult to reach out when you feel like a failure.
So true Tim. Those voices telling us we are not enough. And, you are, you are worthy and enough. Wishing you well.
I have never heard this acronym for fine either. Thanks for sharing, Kathy. It certainly does make complete sense because so many times when I say I’m fine, I also am anything but fine. I can relate to you, Kathy, as a people pleaser all my life it was like absolutely unnatural and extremely hard for me to ask for help, as well.
Thanks Francie. Funny thing is once we become aware of it… we can no longer be unaware! Happy healing my friend. One foot in front of the other :)
What a strong read - I am sure lots of people will find it very helpful. Thank you for opening up to us and sharing your story!
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Hope you are on the mend! Wow that was a close one
It was. Life can throw some curveballs, as you know. And… there are gifts and opportunities. Amor Fati 😉